Beer Review #9 - Orvalicious

The Belgian Ale known as Orval hails from one of the world's seven authentic Trappist breweries. These monastic beer powerhouses produce some of the most complex and tasty beer available on the market. In Belgium it is said that beer has many nourishing properties, giving it the witty nickname, "liquid bread." Orval doesn't taste much like liquified honey wheat but it's earthy, slightly hoppy, dry, and very fruity nature makes it a culinary adventure in itself. The Trappist ale pours a burnt orange and showcases a large white head with a powerful froth. The fragrance is tart and fruity, almost like a dry white wine but with more earthy and robust qualities. The body is smooth and the ale showcases flavors of spice, clove, a unique yeastiness, and green apples. The finish is long, dry, and slightly hoppy, giving the brew an enticing close until the next sip.

Legend has it that an Italian noblewoman by the name of Mathilda of Tuscany once visited the Orval Abbey. During one of her strolls through the grounds she stopped at a rustic fountain, while fiddling with her hands she somehow lost her engagement ring in the depths of the fountain's cool waters. The noblewoman, being of strong faith and conviction, fell to her knees and prayed for the return of her precious ring. Her wish was soon answered by a magical trout that sprung from the water and returned the token of love to its grateful owner. The lady of Tuscany was so impressed by the fish that she decided to donate massive funds to the Abbey, which soon led to the foundation of the monastery and to the tradition of brewing excellence. The Abbey's coat of arms displays the trout and the ring, and the water from the legendary fountain is still used for brewing. Other Trappist breweries might have their own legends, but none have a magical trout that enchants the water used in the first stages of production. The monks of Belgium have been crafting outstanding beers for a long, long time. The least a secular layperson can do is try them out, and of course, don't forget the trout.

Grade: A

ALC:6.9%

Foxy Nation - Keeping America Mad

I've never been a huge fan of television. The amount of predictable, cliche, voilent, and supremely uninteresting material on the "air" is overwhelming. But in a t.v. world filled with meaningless sorority and guido drama there is still real drama, man drama, mad drama. I'm not ashamed to admit that I have a soft spot for AMC's Mad Men. From the moment I heard Don Draper utter the words "love doesn't exist" during an advertising meeting and before returning home to his wife and children, I was hooked. Mad Men is successful because it's characters are interesting, complicated, and conflicted. The show is also a major hit because the cast is full of foxy, dapper, and stylish characters who educate viewers about politics in the early 60s and the benefits of the greyhound cocktail at the same time.

So what does all this praise have to do with the planet's greatest beverage? Isn't mad men about classic cocktails, the American dream, and clever add tag-lines like, "Lucky Strike...It's Toasted?" What Mad Men has done for television is similar to what American microbreweries are currently doing for beer. People are tired of tasting the same generic flavors and want a beer with a little more depth and complexity. If a Budweiser is the beer equivalent to the awful show known as "Say Yes to the Dress," (a harsh comparison but personally my least favorite show ever) Mad Men would be more like an Old Rasputin Imperial Stout, it's rich, dark, complex, and seems to have developed a substantial cult following. Like Mad Men and it's star John Hamm aka Don Draper, North Coast Brewery's Rasputin Imperial Stout is a little bitter, but it will warm you up in the strangest of ways.

Suppenkuche Review Continued - Das Boot

The beer sizes available at Suppenkuche in Hayes Valley

Restaurant Review - Straight Outta' Bavaria

Dining at Suppenkuche in the Hayes Valley neighborhood of San Francisco was my first German style dining experience, and who knew that a meat and potatoes style joint could be so tasty. Germany has never shined particularly bright in the world of European culinary delights compared to the powerhouses that are France and Italy, but the hearty, nourishing, and fresh food at Suppenkuche proves that Germany has more to contribute to the world than a torn and frayed urban landscape and great philosophers. Starting your meal with a nice suppen is a good idea, maybe the kartoffelsupe mit landwurt-bratwurst (potato soup with farmers bratwurst) For the main course the meat selections reign supreme and ordering only vegetables would be foolish and next to impossible. The Gebratene Rehmedaillions in Rotwein-Pflaumensoe mit Rotkohl und Spätzle (sauteed venison medallions in red wine plum sauce with red cabbage and spatzle) is a robust German dish that will make you feel far more manly than you really are. Finish the night off with a nice piece of black forest cake if you have a sweet tooth. The entrees are in the $15-20 range and are substantial in portion.

What drew me to Suppenkuche initially was the epic selection of German, Austrian, and Belgian beers on draft. The beer menu is organized from lightest to darkest, starting with pilsener, then to the bottom-fermented and balanced helles style, the top-fermented and usually unfiltered hefewiezen stlye, all the way to the bock and doppel bock, copper colored brews with flavors of toasted malt. Since Oktoberfest is approaching rapidly I decided to have a newly imported festbier, (fest beer) the Hacker- Pschorr Brewery Oktoberfest. The Hacker Oktoberfest was copper in color and had a malty sweetness characteristic of the style. Many of the festbiers possess a sweet finish that can be slightly overwhelming but the Hacker has a very subtle hoppy note at the end that rounds out the brew. The on-tap advantage was also apparent, the festbier tasted smooth and fresh and put me in the mood for a flavorful sausage. The bartender, who was large, muscular, germanic looking, and very friendly was knowledgeable and easy to talk to. The staff was attentive, the service was good, and the food was filling and tasty. Eating at Suppenkuche might just change your mind about German food or it might create a fresh notion all together. At the very least go and have a festbier on draft, it's a unique beer experience and all the festbiers tend to be fox-like in color.

Restaurant Grade: B

Brew Grade: A-

http://www.suppenkuche.com/

American Fox Phenomenon- The Grey Fox

It's obvious that America is obsessed with cougars, almost as much as vampires, now perhaps more so than zombies. A cougar can be defined as a woman in her 30s or 40s who is on the sexual "prowl" for a much younger man. An older woman can be valued for her independent nature and experience, but the term "cougar" is often used in a negative way, describing a woman who is looking outside of her league and acceptable age range. But what about men in their 40s or even 50s who are interested in younger women, is there a way to describe them other than creep, pervert, or the classic "dirty old man?" Yes there is, the answer lies in the wisdom of the grey fox.

A grey fox is a successful, suave, and attractive man who displays some measure of grey hair. This can range from a touch of grey to a full head, although the latter would most likely be found on a relatively younger man who has turned grey prematurely. The grey fox is a term that is more specific than the cougar, the word fox implies a sex appeal that is not necessarily inherent in the female counterpart. Perhaps this evolved from the term "stone cold fox" or even "foxy," either way the grey fox is becoming a more accepted aspect of American culture. The Beer Fox pays tribute to one of the most ultimate grey foxes of all time, the Clooney.

Beer Review #8 - Ol' English Fruity Nightmare

The fruit/vegetable beer style is hard to execute successfully. On occasion I have tasted fruity flavored beers that are quite tasty, but the style is usually heavily unbalanced, the malt and hop flavors of the brew are downplayed so the fruit flavor can dominate. Fruit and citrus flavors that come through in a subtle way can add a lot to an ale, but when the fruit is overwhelming it feels like you're drinking a 5th grade science experiment gone wrong. The Samuel Smith Organic Raspberry Fruit Ale is a perfect example of a fruit beer where the negatives outweigh any positive qualities.

The fruit ale pours like an old-fashioned soda but it doesn't drink like one. The weak, fizzy, and light ale is overpowered by a sticky, tangy, and syrup like raspberry flavoring that reminds you of ingesting cherry flavored cough medicine as a child rather than tasting your favorite berry. Although the brew is light, thin, and fizzy, it is more of sipping beer, the reddish liquid is tart and jammy causing intense mouth puckering and strange facial expressions among tasters.

I questioned the beer buyer at Whole Foods Market as to why they carry the product and was informed that it's organic nature made it one of the only fruit ales possible to place on the shelf. Many classic fruit beers, such as the Cherry Boon Kriek from Belgium, contain artificial flavorings and preservatives that don't jive with the market's whole planet, whole person philosophies. If you want to try a decent and slightly fruity beer try the Dogfish Head Festina Peche (a neo-Berliner Weissbier brewed with peach concentrate) If your obsessed with raspberries and are fine with a beer tasting more like medicine or a wine spritzer than an ale, try the Samuel Smith variety, otherwise... avoid.

Grade: C-

ABV:5%

Beer Review #7 - Azteca Nectar; Dogfish Goes Ancient

The Dogfish Head Theobroma has been described as a liquid time capsule. The people who describe it as such have absolutely no idea or experience regarding the era they are referring to, but it seems like a good phrase to encapsulate the heady concept beer. Dogfish Head brewery tends to lean towards the adventurous side of things with their creations, and the Theobroma fits nicely into the category. The Theobroma, which is translated roughly as the "food of the gods," is based off the chemical analyses of pottery shards recently found in Honduras. The discovery of the shards informed eager scientists that the earliest human consumption of chocolate occurred in 1200 BC, (in liquid form of course) pushing back the previously accepted date about 500 years. Dogfish Head wanted to recreate a version of what the early chocolate beverage may have tasted like, and produced an interesting, but not outstanding beer.

The brew utilizes artisan Aztec cocoa nibs from Askinosie chocolate, chillies, honey, and annato, a fragrant tree seed found down south. Theobroma is lighter in color than expected, it pours a dark orange hue, very clear and without much head or creaminess. The biggest faults of the beer stemmed from my pre-conceived notions and missed expectations. I pictured either a strong, toasty, and slightly bitter dark chocolate flavor or a serious chili kick to dominate the palate, but the Theobroma dosen't deliver. The flavor is very dead pan, the elements are there but all seem to be represented at such a similar level that none shine through. The chillies become noticeable on the finish after a while, but the flavor is far too mild. The Theobroma is interesting and worth trying but won't have the chance for a repeat performance. It may make you ponder the Aztec ways but it won't make you want to hunt a jaguar, it's not that inspiring.

Grade: B-

ALC:9%